Women – don’t get larger, don’t get older, don’t have fun, don’t dare to wear a bikini

Yesterday, while walking along the beach, I came across a sight that made me pause. A woman, likely in her 70s, confidently strolled by in a vibrant, form-fitting swimsuit, radiating joy and assurance. My initial reaction was one of surprise. Wasn’t she a bit too old to wear something like that? Shouldn’t women at this stage in life be opting for something more modest? But as I reflected, I began to wonder why I felt this way. Why do we, as a society, hold such restrictive views about what women of a certain age or body type should wear?

The Unspoken Rules: Modesty as We Age

There seems to be an unspoken set of rules dictating how women should dress as they grow older. Society often implies that after a certain age, women should fade into the background, dress more conservatively, and act in ways that align with a narrow perception of “dignity.”

  • Society’s Expectations: In a culture obsessed with youth, older women often receive subtle (and not-so-subtle) messages that they should cover up, that they’ve “outgrown” the right to wear bright colors or bold patterns, and that they should aim for modesty over style. A woman in her 70s in a bikini can be seen as rebellious merely because she’s stepping outside these established boundaries.
  • Internalized Ageism: Many women themselves internalize these societal expectations, which can create feelings of guilt or shame for wanting to express themselves through clothing. The belief that one should “dress appropriately” for their age can limit self-expression and foster a negative body image.

Confidence at Any Age: Why Flaunt It? Because She Can!

Witnessing someone boldly challenging these norms can feel almost revolutionary. The woman I saw at the beach wore her swimsuit with pride and confidence. It was clear she felt comfortable in her skin, something that we should celebrate, not criticize. Confidence should be ageless, and if wearing a swimsuit on the beach at 72 makes someone feel good, why should that be a problem?

  • Body Positivity Beyond Youth: The body positivity movement has done wonders in promoting self-acceptance, but it often centers on younger people. Why shouldn’t older women also embrace this message? Why shouldn’t they wear what they love without worrying about judgment?
  • Redefining What’s ‘Appropriate’: Terms like “age-appropriate” are rooted in outdated views of femininity and beauty. The idea that a woman should dress a certain way because she has reached a certain age reflects a mindset that limits personal freedom. Clothes are an expression of identity, and each woman should define what feels appropriate for her.

Breaking Free from Double Standards

Let’s be honest: men don’t face the same scrutiny as they age. A man on the beach in his 70s is rarely criticized for wearing swim trunks, no matter how much his body has changed. In contrast, women are often expected to adhere to an ever-narrowing set of guidelines as they age. Why is there a double standard?

  • Gendered Expectations: Women are held to standards that men rarely encounter. Men are often allowed to age gracefully and maintain their self-expression through style without facing the same level of public commentary. When was the last time anyone raised an eyebrow at a man’s swimwear?
  • Challenging Societal Norms: By embracing her swimsuit, the woman I saw on the beach was pushing back against a culture that too often dictates how women should look, behave, and dress as they grow older. Every woman who dares to wear a bikini in her later years is challenging these norms and embracing her right to self-expression.

Age Is Just a Number: Embracing Life at Every Stage

What we wear shouldn’t be determined by our age, but by our comfort, our confidence, and our desire to live fully. As women grow older, they gain experience, wisdom, and resilience. Why shouldn’t their style reflect this vitality?

  • Living Without Apology: Instead of apologizing for wrinkles, stretch marks, or curves, women of all ages can choose to embrace their bodies just as they are. Clothes should celebrate life, not constrain it. A swimsuit, after all, is made for the beach and the pool, places where we are meant to relax and enjoy ourselves.
  • The Freedom to Be Themselves: Imagine reaching a stage in life where you’re finally free from the expectations of others. This is the gift of age. Women who wear what they love are reclaiming that freedom, proving that they are beholden to no one else’s opinion.

Reframing Modesty: Dressing for Ourselves, Not for Others

The concept of modesty is personal, and it should be self-defined. What’s modest to one person may not be to another. But the idea that older women should cover up is rooted more in societal discomfort with aging than in any genuine respect for modesty.

  • Empowering Choices: Modesty can mean different things to different people. For some, it may mean wearing longer sleeves or lower necklines. For others, it could mean simply wearing what makes them feel good. It’s about dressing for oneself, not for others.
  • Clothing as Empowerment: A swimsuit can be a powerful statement, especially for older women. It’s a way of saying, “I am here, I matter, and I have the right to enjoy my body.” Let’s empower women to make clothing choices based on what feels authentic to them.

Shifting Perspectives: Let’s Celebrate, Not Judge

The next time you see an older woman rocking a swimsuit, perhaps pause before you judge. Consider instead the strength and confidence it takes to defy societal norms and enjoy oneself fully. Celebrate her joy, her freedom, and her ability to embrace life without apology.

  • Celebrating Diversity in Beauty: The beauty industry is slowly embracing more diverse models, including older women, but the shift needs to be reflected in how we view everyday women, too. All bodies deserve to be celebrated, no matter their age.
  • Encouraging Respect Over Ridicule: Instead of questioning whether someone is dressed appropriately for their age, we should encourage respect. Let’s allow each person to live their truth and make their own choices without shame or fear of ridicule.

Conclusion: Redefining Modesty and Confidence at Every Age

Seeing a woman proudly wearing a swimsuit at the beach, regardless of her age, shouldn’t be surprising or controversial. It should be celebrated. Women have the right to age on their terms, to wear what they choose, and to live without fear of judgment. Modesty, confidence, and beauty are personal, and every woman should have the freedom to define these for herself. As a society, it’s time we recognize that age is just a number, and self-expression is timeless. So here’s to every woman who chooses to be herself, unapologetically, at every stage of life.

Related Posts