When a loved one passes away, the traditional response is to honor their memory with a heartfelt obituary that celebrates their life and achievements. However, as this recent case from Redwood Falls, Minnesota demonstrates, not all families are inclined to take the high road when it comes to bidding farewell to the dearly departed.
The obituary for Kathleen Dehmlow, published in the Redwood Falls Gazette, quickly went viral for all the wrong reasons. Rather than a glowing eulogy, her estranged children chose to air their family’s dirty laundry for the entire town to read, penning a scathing account that painted their mother in the harshest possible light.
The obituary began innocuously enough, providing the standard biographical details about Kathleen’s life and the fact that she was survived by two children. However, the tone took a sharp turn in the final paragraph, where the writers unleashed a barrage of accusations and vitriol:
“Kathleen Dehmlow … died on May 31, 2018 in Springfield, MN. She was preceded in death by her parents Alvina and Joseph Schunk, and her brother Dennis Schunk. She is survived by her children: Gina and Jay [last name omitted]. She abandoned her children, Gina and Jay who were raised by her parents in Woonsocket, SD. She passed away on May 31, 2018 in Springfield and will now face judgment. She will not be missed by Gina and Jay, and they understand that this world is a better place without her.”
Unsurprisingly, the scathing obituary was met with widespread public outrage and condemnation. The Redwood Falls Gazette, which had originally published the piece, ended up removing it from their online platforms due to the backlash.
In a subsequent interview with the Star Tribune, a family member named Dwight Dehmlow acknowledged that the obituary did not tell the full story. He admitted that while Kathleen had made a “mistake” 60 years ago, she had spent the rest of her life regretting it. Dwight also criticized the writer of the obituary, stating that they had chosen “to go out with hate” and that the publication would “hurt a lot of people.”
This incident highlights the complex and often messy nature of family dynamics, especially in the aftermath of a loss. While the children’s anger and hurt towards their mother is understandable, the decision to air their grievances so publicly in her obituary was undoubtedly a controversial one.
The question of whether the obituary was justified or whether it crossed a line is one that has sparked much debate. On the one hand, the children may have felt that this was their final opportunity to express the depth of their resentment towards a parent who they felt had wronged them. On the other hand, many would argue that an obituary should be a place to honor the deceased, not to settle scores.
Ultimately, the Kathleen Dehmlow obituary serves as a cautionary tale about the power of the written word and the lasting impact it can have, even in the most personal of circumstances. It reminds us that grief can manifest in unexpected and potentially harmful ways, and that sometimes, the most difficult challenge is finding the balance between honoring the dead and acknowledging the complexities of life.
As we grapple with the implications of this viral obituary, it’s clear that there are no easy answers. But perhaps, in the end, the best we can do is to approach such sensitive matters with empathy, understanding, and a commitment to preserving the dignity of all involved.
