Parenting is a journey filled with love, joy, and a fair share of challenges. Among those challenges is the task of changing dirty diapers—a mundane but necessary aspect of caring for a baby. While diaper changes are a routine part of parenting, one expert’s recent claim has sparked a conversation that challenges conventional thinking: Should parents seek permission from their babies before changing their diapers?
The Expert Behind the Claim
Deanne Carson, a self-proclaimed “sexuality educator, speaker, and author,” is at the center of this debate. Carson, who has worked extensively on fostering a culture of consent, argues that parents should begin introducing concepts of consent as early as infancy. Her views were brought to light during a 2018 appearance on ABC, where she discussed the importance of establishing a consent culture from birth.
Establishing Consent from Infancy
Carson’s approach is rooted in the idea that consent should be ingrained in children from the earliest stages of life. She suggests that parents can initiate this by asking their babies for permission before changing their diapers. While acknowledging that newborns cannot verbally respond, Carson emphasizes the significance of non-verbal communication, such as eye contact, to convey that the baby’s reaction is valued.
The Logic Behind Non-Verbal Communication
Carson’s suggestion is based on the principle that, even though babies cannot articulate their consent, they can still engage in a form of non-verbal communication. By pausing before changing a diaper and waiting for a moment of eye contact or other non-verbal cues, parents can begin to teach their children that their responses matter, laying the groundwork for a culture of consent as they grow older.
Public Reaction: A Controversial Perspective
Unsurprisingly, Carson’s claim has generated significant discussion, with many questioning the practicality and necessity of asking a baby for permission before a diaper change. Critics argue that, given a baby’s inability to fully comprehend the situation, the act of seeking consent seems futile.
Criticism and Questions
'Sexuality expert' says parents should ask for baby's consent when changing nappies.
— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) May 10, 2018
Yes, really… pic.twitter.com/iR6wUfP87i
One of the primary criticisms is the potential confusion this practice could create. A common response online was: “And what happens when the baby says no? Do it anyway?” This sentiment reflects the concern that while the intention behind seeking consent is noble, the reality of caregiving requires prompt action, particularly in situations where the baby’s well-being is at stake.
Another critic humorously pointed out, “Either she has never wrestled a toddler during a change or worse, she just left hers in a dirty diaper until it was ready to consent.” This comment highlights the everyday challenges parents face, particularly with older babies and toddlers who might resist diaper changes regardless of consent.
The Role of Parental Authority
The debate also touches on the broader issue of parental authority. Many argue that as the responsible adults, parents must make decisions in the best interest of their child, including ensuring they remain clean and comfortable. One commentator noted, “For sanity’s sake—if a baby’s diaper needs changing, you change it. You are the adult & in charge of the baby—the baby isn’t in charge of you.”
The Bigger Picture: Consent Culture in Parenting
While Carson’s suggestion may seem radical to some, it is part of a broader conversation about consent culture and parenting. The goal is to encourage parents to consider their children’s autonomy and teach them about boundaries and respect from a young age. However, this approach raises questions about how and when these lessons should be introduced.
Comparisons to Other Parenting Advice
Carson’s claims aren’t the only unconventional parenting advice that has raised eyebrows. For instance, John Rosemond, a weekly parenting columnist, once argued that parents shouldn’t high-five their kids. Rosemond believes that such gestures diminish the level of respect children have for adults, claiming that “The high-five is not compatible with respect.” His views, much like Carson’s, suggest that small actions can have significant implications in the parent-child dynamic.
Balancing Consent with Practicality
The debate over seeking a baby’s consent before a diaper change highlights the complexities of modern parenting. While it’s crucial to foster a culture of respect and consent, it’s equally important to balance these ideals with the practical realities of caring for an infant. Parents must navigate these waters with both common sense and a commitment to raising children who understand the importance of boundaries and respect.
Conclusion: A Thought-Provoking Debate
The suggestion that parents should ask their babies for permission before changing their diapers is a provocative idea that challenges traditional parenting norms. While it may not be practical for every parent, it does spark an important conversation about how we introduce the concept of consent to our children. Ultimately, the key lies in finding a balance that respects a child’s developing autonomy while ensuring their immediate needs are met. As the conversation around consent culture continues to evolve, parents will need to consider how best to integrate these principles into their parenting practices.
