You’ve probably heard the phrase, “You don’t get it until it happens to you.” That sentiment couldn’t be more accurate when it comes to real-world experiences. We often think we understand something just by looking at it or hearing about it—but there’s a massive difference between knowing and truly feeling it. The image above shows two fruits that look deceptively similar at a glance, but one is a cucumber, and the other is jackfruit skin—a subtle reminder that not everything is as it seems.
So let’s break this down and dive into the heart of why “understanding the problem” only becomes real when you’ve actually been through it.
The Power of Perspective: Experience Is the Best Teacher
Here’s the truth—perspective changes everything. Imagine seeing someone struggle and thinking, “I’d handle that differently,” or “It can’t be that hard.” But once you’re in that same situation, your entire mindset shifts. Suddenly, the struggle feels heavier. The choices feel harder. The emotions run deeper.
That’s when understanding transforms from theory to reality. It’s no longer something you observe; it’s something you carry.
Looks Can Be Deceiving: A Tale of Two Hands
Let’s circle back to the image. One side shows a hand holding a cucumber—smooth, familiar, and easily recognizable. The other shows a hand gripping a jackfruit’s skin—rough, spiked, and visibly different in texture. At first glance, both shapes seem alike. But touch them, hold them, feel the texture, and your hand instantly knows the difference.
That moment of contact? That’s your “aha” moment. And it mirrors how life works. From the outside, problems might look the same for everyone. But once it’s in your hands—when you actually deal with it—that’s when true understanding kicks in.
Why Empathy Begins With Experience
You’ve probably judged someone’s reaction before—maybe thought they were overreacting or being dramatic. But the moment you’re in their shoes, the tone shifts. What seemed small becomes heavy. What looked manageable feels overwhelming. And that’s where empathy is born.
Video : Appearances Are Deceiving
You stop assuming. You start relating.
That’s why lived experience holds so much weight. You can read all the books and hear all the advice, but nothing compares to the feeling of holding the problem in your own hands.
The Emotional Weight of Holding a Problem
Let’s be real—problems don’t just exist in the mind. They live in the body. You feel them in your chest, your gut, your palms. That’s why the image of a hand holding the fruit is so symbolic. The texture, the shape, the unexpected surprise when something feels different than expected—that’s the emotional equivalent of a hard situation catching you off guard.
You thought you were picking up a cucumber, but it turned out to be something far rougher. That’s life in a nutshell.
Don’t Judge the Fruit Until You Hold It
This visual comparison hits deep. On one hand, it’s funny—who wouldn’t laugh at mistaking a jackfruit for a cucumber? But on a deeper level, it’s a reminder to stop making assumptions. Don’t judge a situation until you’ve truly held it. Because from a distance, everything looks easier than it is.
You might think, “I know what that feels like.” But until you’re the one holding the weight, you really don’t.
Life Lessons From Everyday Objects
Who knew a piece of fruit could teach you about life?
Video : The Science of FRUIT You Never Knew
That’s the beauty of metaphors. The jackfruit and cucumber become symbols for two versions of reality—what we think something is, and what it actually is once we engage with it. One is smooth and easy. The other is rough and unexpected. And both are valid, depending on where you stand.
It’s a reminder to approach every situation, every person, every problem—with a little more grace. Because the truth is, none of us know what someone else is carrying until we’ve carried it ourselves.
Conclusion: You Only Understand When It’s in Your Hand
So here’s the bottom line: understanding isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s personal. You don’t truly understand the weight, the texture, the difficulty—until it’s yours to carry. Whether it’s grief, loss, responsibility, pressure, or fear, the moment you hold it changes everything.
And just like confusing a jackfruit for a cucumber, life has a way of surprising us when we assume we’ve seen it all. So next time someone says, “You don’t understand,” maybe pause. Maybe listen. Maybe realize that until you’ve held it, they might be right.
