Raising a child is no easy task. As parents, we want to protect them, guide them, and ensure they grow up into well-rounded individuals. But sometimes, in our quest to teach them right from wrong, we unintentionally set restrictions that do more harm than good.
Psychologists believe that while setting boundaries is essential, certain limitations can hinder a child’s confidence, emotional development, and sense of independence. If you want your child to thrive, here are nine things you should never forbid them from doing.
1. Asking Questions—Curiosity Fuels Growth
Kids are naturally curious. They explore the world with wide-eyed wonder, constantly asking “why?” “how?” and “what if?” While answering a flood of questions can be exhausting—especially after a long day—never discourage your child from being inquisitive.
When children ask questions, they are trying to understand their surroundings, make sense of emotions, and learn problem-solving skills. If you dismiss their curiosity, they may stop asking altogether, leading to a lack of confidence and hesitation in seeking knowledge.
Instead, encourage their curiosity by answering as best you can. If you don’t know the answer, explore it together! This will strengthen your bond while helping your child develop a love for learning.
2. Crying—Emotional Expression Matters
Crying is not a sign of weakness—it’s a natural human response to emotions. Yet, many parents unintentionally shame their kids by saying things like “Stop crying” or “Big boys/girls don’t cry.”
This kind of response teaches children to suppress their emotions rather than process them. Over time, this can lead to issues with emotional regulation and self-expression.
Instead of shutting down their tears, acknowledge their feelings:
“I see that you’re upset. Do you want to talk about it?”
“I know this is hard for you. Let’s find a way to work through it together.”
By validating their emotions, you help them develop emotional intelligence and give them the tools to cope with feelings in a healthy way.
3. Being Greedy—Personal Boundaries Are Important
Sharing is a valuable lesson, but forcing a child to share before they’re ready can actually backfire. Children, like adults, have the right to personal belongings. Imagine if someone forced you to hand over your phone or wallet—how would that feel?
Kids need time to develop a sense of generosity naturally. Instead of saying, “You must share,” try:
“I know that’s your favorite toy. Maybe you can let your friend borrow it when you’re done playing.”
Teaching respect for personal boundaries helps children develop healthy relationships with others without feeling forced into situations they’re uncomfortable with.
4. Saying “No”—Teaching Autonomy
Many parents feel disrespected when their child says “no”, but allowing them to express disagreement is crucial for their sense of autonomy and personal boundaries.
If children aren’t allowed to say “no” at home, they might struggle with standing up for themselves in friendships, relationships, and even dangerous situations later in life. Instead of viewing defiance as disrespect, see it as an opportunity for communication.
Rather than demanding obedience, help them understand reasoning:
“I understand you don’t want to clean your room, but let’s work together to get it done.”
“I hear that you don’t want to eat your veggies. Let’s find a way to make it fun.”
Teaching healthy negotiation skills will empower them while still reinforcing family rules.
5. Being Noisy—Let Them Be Kids!
Children are full of energy. They sing, laugh, shout, and explore their world through sound. Shushing them constantly can diminish their confidence and creative expression.
Yes, there are times when they need to be quiet (like at school or in a library), but at home or outside? Let them be free! Instead of seeing their loudness as a problem, embrace it as a sign of joy, creativity, and self-expression.
6. Feeling Fear—It’s a Natural Emotion
Fear is an essential survival mechanism. When kids are afraid—whether it’s of the dark, new experiences, or strangers—mocking or dismissing their fears can make them feel isolated and unsafe.
Instead of saying, “There’s nothing to be scared of,” try:
“I know that shadows in the dark can be scary. Let’s turn on a nightlight together.”
“It’s okay to feel nervous about meeting new people. We can take it one step at a time.”
By acknowledging their fears and offering comfort, you help them develop coping strategies that they will carry into adulthood.
7. Keeping Secrets—Respect Their Privacy
As children grow older, they develop a need for personal space and privacy. Constantly demanding to know everything about their lives can push them away rather than encourage openness.
If your child feels like they can’t have secrets, they might start hiding things from you out of fear, rather than out of trust. Instead of invading their privacy, build a relationship where they feel comfortable coming to you on their own.
Let them have a private diary without reading it.
Give them personal space while still being present in their lives.
Trust is a two-way street—respecting their privacy strengthens the bond you share.
8. Expressing Anger or Jealousy—Emotions Are Valid
Children, just like adults, experience a wide range of emotions, including anger, frustration, and jealousy. Telling them “Don’t be mad” or “Stop being jealous” doesn’t teach them how to deal with these feelings—it just tells them to suppress them.
Instead, teach them healthy ways to express and manage emotions:
“I see that you’re angry. Let’s take deep breaths together.”
“I understand you feel jealous. Let’s talk about what’s bothering you.”
Helping kids name and navigate their emotions will serve them far better than suppressing them.
9. Making Mistakes—It’s How They Learn
Mistakes are a natural part of learning. Scolding a child too harshly for errors can create a fear of failure, making them hesitant to try new things.
Instead of focusing on what went wrong, shift the perspective:
“It’s okay! What did you learn from this?”
“Mistakes help us grow. Let’s figure out a way to do it better next time.”
By fostering a growth mindset, you teach your child resilience, confidence, and problem-solving skills.
Final Thoughts: Let Them Grow, Learn, and Express Themselves
Children thrive when they feel safe, heard, and respected. Setting healthy boundaries is important, but restricting basic emotions, curiosity, or personal expression can do more harm than good.
By allowing them to ask questions, express feelings, set boundaries, and make mistakes, you’re giving them the tools they need to navigate life with confidence and resilience.
After all, childhood is about learning, exploring, and growing—let’s make sure we’re helping them do just that!
