When life’s final moments approach, it often brings a profound sense of clarity. For many, regrets bubble to the surface, revealing what truly mattered but was overlooked or taken for granted. A hospice nurse, Julie McFadden, has spent years at the bedside of those nearing the end, and her insights into life’s biggest regrets serve as a wake-up call for the living.
Through her heartfelt conversations with patients, Julie has identified one regret that stands out above all others: the wish to have appreciated one’s health more. This simple yet profound reflection holds lessons for all of us.
The Weight of Regret at Life’s End
As life winds down, regrets often overshadow a person’s final moments. These regrets usually stem from missed opportunities, unspoken feelings, or choices that didn’t align with their true desires.
Common regrets include:
- Not spending enough time with loved ones.
- Neglecting personal passions and dreams.
- Failing to care for one’s physical and mental health.
For many, the realization of lost time or wasted opportunities creates a sense of longing for what could have been. This emotional weight can often outweigh the joys and accomplishments of their lives.
“I Wish I Would Have Appreciated My Health”
Julie McFadden, a hospice nurse with years of experience in end-of-life care, revealed to podcaster Rob Moore the regret she hears most often: “I wish I would have appreciated my health.”
This sentiment, shared by countless patients, highlights how often people take their physical well-being for granted until it’s too late. Julie emphasizes how the simple acts of walking, breathing, and feeling the sunshine—things we rarely think about—are blessings that people regret not cherishing sooner.
Julie, inspired by these reflections, practices daily gratitude to internalize this lesson in her own life. She keeps a “gratitude list” where she notes small yet significant joys, like the warmth of sunlight or the ability to move freely.
Her perspective underscores an essential truth: appreciating your health now, no matter your circumstances, can prevent future regrets.
A Journey from the ICU to Hospice Care
Before transitioning to hospice care, Julie worked in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). The stark contrast between the fast-paced, life-saving interventions of the ICU and the peaceful, comfort-focused care of hospice gave her a unique perspective on life and death.
In the ICU, death often came as an abrupt and traumatic event. In hospice care, it becomes a gradual process of reflection and acceptance. This shift taught Julie the importance of understanding the dying process before it becomes a reality for yourself or a loved one.
“I believe people should know about the dying process before they’re actually going through it,” she shared.
Her goal is to empower people to face death with greater awareness and less fear, emphasizing that understanding death can help us live better lives.
The Financial Burden of Dying Well
Julie also touched on an often-overlooked issue in end-of-life care: the financial strain. “Generally speaking, it helps to have money to die well, which I think is really unfortunate,” she explained.
In the United States, access to quality hospice services often depends on a person’s financial resources. Those with more wealth can afford better care, while others face challenges securing the same level of comfort and dignity in their final days.
This disparity sheds light on the broader issue of healthcare inequality, particularly in end-of-life care. Julie’s advocacy reminds us of the importance of pushing for reforms to make compassionate care accessible to everyone.
Hospices: A Place for Reflection and Redefined Hope
Hospices are not just places where life ends—they are spaces where people and their families confront the inevitable with dignity. The quiet and reflective atmosphere in hospices often magnifies feelings of loss, but it also fosters deep connections and important realizations.
For families, the experience of saying goodbye is both heartbreaking and transformative. Watching a loved one decline, even with compassionate care, brings a profound sense of helplessness. Yet, hospices also serve as places where hope is redefined—not in terms of recovery but in finding peace, closure, and comfort in the time that remains.
The Power of Gratitude and Living Fully
Through her work, Julie McFadden encourages people to embrace gratitude and live their lives to the fullest. Her daily practice of focusing on the small joys in life—like the ability to walk, breathe, or feel the sunshine—reminds us to appreciate what we often overlook.
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The lesson here is simple yet powerful: live now with intention and gratitude, so you don’t find yourself weighed down by regrets in your final moments.
How to Live Without Regrets
Julie’s insights offer actionable lessons for anyone seeking to avoid the most common end-of-life regrets:
- Appreciate Your Health: No matter your age or current condition, value what your body can do for you. Celebrate small victories and take care of yourself physically and mentally.
- Prioritize Relationships: Make time for loved ones and nurture meaningful connections.
- Pursue Your Passions: Don’t wait for “someday” to chase your dreams—start today, even in small ways.
- Practice Gratitude: Regularly reflect on the blessings in your life, no matter how small.
- Prepare for the Inevitable: Educate yourself about the dying process and discuss end-of-life wishes with your family.
Conclusion
The words of a hospice nurse like Julie McFadden carry the weight of countless life stories and final reflections. The most common regret she hears—“I wish I would have appreciated my health”—is a poignant reminder to cherish the present and care for ourselves.
As we navigate the chaos and busyness of life, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. But Julie’s message is clear: don’t wait until it’s too late. Embrace gratitude, nurture relationships, and live fully in the moment. By doing so, you can face life’s final chapter with peace, knowing you lived without regrets.
